Growing Up

"Summer was here again. Summer, summer, summer. I loved and hated summers. Summers had a logic all their own and they always brought something out in me. Summer was supposed to be about freedom and youth and no school and possibilities and adventure and exploration. Summer was a book of hope. That's why I loved and hated summers. Because they made me want to believe." - Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

Here we are on prom night, something that happened over a month ago. They say that everything passes you by so quickly and you never believe them till it happens right before your very eyes. I've spent the last month trying to live. And all it did was make me realize how much I can't wait to move into that apartment and explore.

A lot has happened since May 11th. Tae and I did so much because yesterday, June 19th, was his last day in America until August. It's going to be so killer to be away for that long, but I know we'll make it through it. Even though we didn't come close to doing all the things we planned on doing, it's okay. That only leaves more adventures and more memories for the future.

Not to mention that I also graduated high school a week ago. I'm officially an alumni with a high school diploma, and let me tell you: it is so weird. I've spent my whole life here, and now that it's all over, I can't believe how fast everything is passing me by. I've had so many near sleepless nights this year, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't miss it. I'm going to miss everything so much. High school might have unnecessary drama and what we think to be "a lot of work," but it's been easily the best four years of my life.

To the Class of 2013, we made it. And here's to the rest of our lives.

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P.S. - Please follow me on bloglovin' now that Google Reader is leaving so we can still keep up with each other's blogs. :)

Goodbye, Senior Year

"Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. . . . You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present." - John Green, Looking for Alaska

May 10th was my last day of high school. Ever. It should've been more sad, and I kind of feel guilty for not feeling as sad as other people were, but to be honest, it felt liberating. I also had an AP test that day (I love statistics...) so I wasn't really focused on the whole end-of-the-year sadness. I woke up at 5:40 that day to go to the traditional tailgate in the old parking lot. It was honestly such a nice feeling to stand around in the rising sun. Everything was perfect.

After the tailgate, we all went inside for to live through the most bittersweet day ever. We did nothing in our classes, but Tae, being the sweetheart that he is, baked me brownies, and it was the cutest. I wanted to do something, too, but again, AP Statistics called...

I'm going to miss the whole experience so so much, but at the same time, I'm ready to move on. It's been an amazing four years--high school has truly been the time of my life. And as fast as it's gone (unbelievably, of course), I can't help but want to get that diploma in my hand and be on my way to college. I get to spend this summer with my closest friends and Tae, and I couldn't ask for much more to end this chapter of my life.

Soon to come: a post about PROM! Sorry for the huge delay--I've been too tired to update, and I've been busy going out and relaxing. :) But expect that post in the next few days. Hope you've all been doing well.

Hypocrisy

"I don't know who I am. Or maybe I do know who I am and I just don't want to be her anymore." - Gayle Forman

Take me back to Disney World. Please.

I can't say that I've never looked to be in a relationship in high school before. In fact, I'd be straight up lying if I said that. Last year at the end of the year, I had this vision of being in a relationship for senior year only--just something to really tie off high school. Well a few months ago, I decided that past me was absolutely crazy. I realized that I shouldn't be looking for a relationship at this point in my life. College is in a few months, and it really just looks like a fling. The way I see it is that if you can't picture a future past a certain point, why bother? I look for meaning, I look for purpose. That's just who I am.

But oh man, I am such a hypocrite.

Last night, well a lot happened. And after it was "official" (I guess if you want to call it that), I drove back home saying, "What just happened. What did I just do." I should be happy. I should be so so happy right now, and yet I just keep thinking about my own regard for myself. What's wrong with me? I am so stupid. I am such a hypocrite. And for me to go through with this means that I lose some respect for myself. But for me to end it leaves me a little broken.

I am so torn right now. I don't know what to do. And the more I say it in my head, the more weirded out I become. This morning I couldn't fall back asleep at 8AM because it all just hit me. This is so surreal. And I know it's wrong to think this way, but what will others say? I had to tell one of my closest friends last night, and he was trying to figure things out with me. But I don't know anything right now. I want this to happen. And I guess a part of me should've seen it was coming (I'm not exactly the brightest person I suppose...). But if this happens as it looks like it will, I'm going to need a lot of self re-evaluation.

Until then, hi. How have you all been?

Disney World, Orlando, Florida

"Childhood memories were like airplane luggage; no matter how far you were traveling or how long you needed them to last, you were only ever allowed two bags. And while those bags might hold a few hazy recollections--a diner with a jukebox at the table, being pushed on a swing set, the way it felt to be picked up and spun around--it didn't seem to last a whole lifetime." - Jennifer E. Smith

On Tuesday night, I came home from an amazing amazing four days in...DISNEY WORLD. For our senior class trip, we got the opportunity to go to Disney to make the best of memories. It was exhausting, don't get me wrong, but it was absolutely wonderful, and I just want to go back already because school is monotonous now.

I woke up on Saturday morning at 2:45AM to make it to the school by 3:50AM. We drove to the airport and after a bunch of traveling, we landed in Orlando at around 10AM. We got bused over to Magic Kingdom where we spent the entire day! It was so much fun. So much fun. I hung out with Andrea, Eddy, Emily, Michael, and Nick, and we went on Space Mountain, the Buzz Lightyear game (3 times might I add haha), Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain, It's a Small World, Pirates of the Caribbean, Monster's Inc, and Stitch's ride thing haha. It was so much fun even though we didn't make it to a lot of the other things. Then after scarfing down our dinner, we rushed over to in front of Cinderella's castle to watch the electrical parade, the show, and the fireworks. It was all so beautiful.

On Sunday, we first went to Hollywood Studios. I was with Eddy, Emily, Jason, John, and Michael. We first went to the Tower of Terror which dramatically changed since the last time I went (10 years ago haha). We went in with all these other kids from our school so the entire "elevator" was filled with people from my class which was pretty awesome haha. Then we went on the Rock n Roller Coaster which was amazing, too. We ended up also going to Star Tours and then saw the Indiana Jones show and American Idol!

After we came out of American Idol, it started pouring rain. It was okay though because we hit everything we could and were leaving for Epcot momentarily. So yeah then we took the buses over to Epcot! We actually ended up not doing much in Epcot which was kind of disappointing. I was mainly with Eddy, Iris, and Michael the entire time. Because it was pouring, we barely got to stroll around because we were busy powerwalking to get out of the rain haha. We ended up getting drenched and hid out in a gift shop for quite a while where we bought some souvenirs! Afterwards a bit of drama happened, but Iris, Michael, and I went on Test Track and accidentally went in the single riders lane which was awkward lol. I ended up being in the car with this entire family so I was pretty much just awkwardly sitting there. Then we went on Soarin' with Eddy and Emily which was such a cool and relaxing ride! Afterwards, we hurried over to watch the Laser Light Illuminations show which was amazing, too. (I liked the Magic Kingdom one better though!)

On Monday, we first went to Animal Kingdom! I spent the entire time with Eddy and Michael which was actually really really fun. We first went on the rapids ride and got absolutely drenched haha. Probably wasn't smart to all sit on the same side... Then we went on Expedition Everest and afterwards the safari! I freaked out over seeing the giraffes haha. But Everest was such a good ride oh my goodness. Then we ate some lunch in the Asia section and had some decent Americanized Chinese food haha. After we went to the Dinosaur ride where we got the most hilarious picture taken on the ride omg. Every time I look at it, I start laughing haha. It was such a scary ride though. I had tears in my eyes in the end from laughing so hard/from screaming so much. Then we walked around and went on Everest again haha. And after that we went on It's Tough to Be a Bug which was pretty scary because it was 4D haha. But then we left to go back to the hotel!

One of my favorite pictures from the entire trip. :)

We got back to the hotel and chilled in the guys' room for a while before getting ready to go out to dinner with the entire class! We drove over to Universal Studios to eat dinner at the Nascar Cafe. It wasn't that great, but after that we went over to see the Blue Man Group! There were parts which I thought were horrible, but overall it was such a cool show! People from our school got chosen for some of the things so that was fun to cheer for haha. After that we went back over to the Nascar Cafe to have our "DJ/Dance Party" lolol. It was pretty bad and all the arcade games weren't that great either/were super crowded. But I got a light-up cup which was pretty much the highlight of it all hahaha.

And then on Tuesday, we went to Blizzard Beach! I don't have any pictures from there because it's a water park so I didn't want my camera to get destroyed. But I'm not a big fan of water parks to begin with so it wasn't as fun overall. We first went in the lazy river. Then I waited for other people to go on this crazy 120-foot slide for like an hour because I didn't want to hurt my back by going on it. After, we went to eat lunch. All I ate was a pretzel, but it cost me $4.25 lol most expensive pretzel in the world omg. It was in the shape of Mickey Mouse though so it was half acceptable. Then I went on some slides with Andrea and Iris before getting changed and going to the gift shop! After that we left for the airport!! Our airplane ended up getting delayed by like 40 minutes because we had too much fuel... But I essentially was asleep the entire time haha.

And yes! That was the essence of my trip to Disney World. :) It was such an amazing opportunity to have even though it was pretty pricey. (Not to mention how each meal dropped me like $15...) I'm so glad I got to spend four days in the most magical place on earth with some of my closest friends. Ending high school with a bang!