Autumn

By all these lovely tokens September days are here. With summer's best of weather And autumn's best of cheer. -Helen Hunt Jackson

I yearn for these upcoming autumn days.
Today the weather was cool and crisp, full of freshly seen breath in the air. I realized how much I missed these days.
I've missed the way the leaves turn to red, orange, and brown, and begin to fall. I've missed the cool mornings standing at the bus stop, wearing layers. I've missed the sound of dry leaves crunching beneath my feet. I've missed passing by cornfields only to see orange pumpkins so beautifully yet arbitrarily placed. I've missed the smell of apples in the air--apple pie, apple cider, apple everything. I've missed the warm feeling of holding a caramel steamer in my cold hands, and burning my tongue on the very first sip.
...I've missed you.

I can't change the way things are going between us just as I can't change the way summer's changing into autumn. I can only try to move on. It's harder than it sounds.

On a different note, it's 1:19AM, and I'm currently typing this all out for my lovely readers. I don't have time to blog as often as I did before, and I've scavenged up every last picture I could find. I'm running out of pictures to display, I'm running out of things to say.
And junior year is terribly intense. I find myself commonly getting four hours of sleep. I stay up late one night, only to stay up later the next. Over these past 2 weeks, I've had 9 tests. And I have so many more to come this upcoming week. Needless to say, I'm extremely busy and exhausted from this year already.

But if one thing's for sure, I am determined to find a way to move on from the idea of ever being with you, even though I'll probably lose myself along the way.

Angels On the Moon

This is to New York City angels, and the rivers of our blood. This is to all of us, to all of us. --Thriving Ivory

This post is dedicated to all of the people who lost their lives on September 11, 2001. May you rest in peace. <3

Picture taken on the Empire State Building, October 2010! I have a bunch of pretty decent pictures from that day, I just never bothered to edit them. Here's a really quick edit since I'm about to go to sleep after this post.

As you know, today's 9/11. It's been exactly 10 years since the attacks, and somehow it feels like it was just yesterday. I still remember coming home from first grade and watching the news. I remember seeing the video of the towers falling down, and I remember not being able to understand what any of that meant. It means so much, that I don't even know how people even begin to explain what 9/11 means to us. I'm not sure how people phrase things so beautifully, while I struggle to even put my words into coherent sentences. 9/11 means more than just a date, it signifies remembrance, bravery, freedom, terrorism, justice, and sacrifice. 9/11 shows America how far we've come and how much more we can give. In these past 10 years, this past decade, we've shown nothing but strength and hope. 9/11 is what made us who we are today, it's a part of our history now, forever engraved into the back of our minds and marked in textbooks.

And now I want to put a part in here about the firefighters and policemen that gave all they could to rescue others. They are truly heroes, and we cannot thank them enough for what they do everyday. And to those passengers on the flight to Shanksville, PA, may you all rest in peace. I admire you all so much for doing that, I can't even begin to say how heroic that was, and how selfless that was in a world full of materialistic desires and selfish needs.

This day just makes me so emotional. I can't even put into words what I feel.

9/11, September 11th.
2001-2011.
We will always remember, we will never forget.

Paradox

I'm constantly let down by the high expectations I give you.

I've been waiting for so long, I'm just tired.

"Good things come to people who wait" is probably the biggest lie I've followed for all of these years.

I've learned that "carpe diem" and "no guts, no glory" have gotten so much further than simply waiting with my mouth and mind closed.

But at this point, nothing's working anymore.

You don't even realize all of this pain you're bringing me, and that's the worst.

You bring me so much pain, yet so much laughter.

I can't stand you. I can't stop thinking about you.

You are my ultimate paradox.

So Long Sweet Summer

GOODBYE.

• Staying up until 2
• Waking up whenever
• Feeling tired willingly
• Traveling
• Vacationing
• Family time
• Sunsets
• Star-gazing
• Messed up sleep schedule
• Doing nothing for the whole day
• Watching videos and catching up on TV shows
• Being lazy
• Procrastinating
• Summer nights
• Never-ending freedom
• No work, no worries
• The best 2.5 weeks of talking to you.

I was fine these past few days, even though you weren't there. I made up excuses in my mind, and now there's none left. You really did it again, and I can't stand this anymore. Ugh. :(

And to make things better, tomorrow is the start of junior year. I. Can't. Wait.

Things I Miss

I don't even know what I just made. I took this picture in freshmen year for a photo assignment. I saw some leaves by the tennis courts while I had a match for tennis. And I ended up editing it two different ways. I got bored with it just now, and this is what I made. I'm sorry if it doesn't make any sense.

• Sitting outside watching the sunset
• Staying up until 3AM talking to someone
• The feeling in your stomach when your plane is taking off
• Exploring
• Waking up in your hotel when you're on vacation
• Sitting by the ocean listening to the waves
• Catching fireflies
• Watching the fireworks
• The clicks of a dSLR
• The feel of a paint brush and the smell of paints
• Seeing Inbox (7)
• Staying up late talking to my brother
• Writing decent pieces of work
• Sleeping
• Laughing while I read what you've sent me
• Feeling better after I start to reply
• You
• You
• You

I'll make an actual post of this maybe in the form of photography soon. But I'll take out all of the parts I snuck in about someone, and I'll add in some more about summer.

I'm going to miss summer 2011 so, so much. I'm not ready for this year. I'll never be.

Wake Me Up When September Ends

Summer has come and passed. The innocent will never last. Wake me up when September ends.   --Green Day

School starts on Tuesday. And needless to say, I am not looking forward to it. I am already dreading junior year--I have been ever since I started high school. And now that the time has actually come, I'm certainly not excited. But I have to learn to deal with it!

Speaking of school, I have tons of summer homework still left to do. So I need to finish up this post really quickly. I also just found out I have a test on Thursday! School hasn't even started yet, and teachers are already scheduling tests. :( /cries.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that August was a great month, but I'm hoping September will somehow exceed my expectations and be amazing. <3

We can all hope, can't we?

Emptiness

I feel so empty inside right now.
And it's not even about you this time.
It's on this crazy ride we call life. It feels like whenever things are going right, they have to be messed up. It feels like people raise my hopes up just to take them down.

I'm so tired of this. I'm so tired of feeling this way--so alone, so hollow.
So hopeless.

Lighters

An outtake from my hope photoshoot. This is completely unedited. I'm too lazy to even put my watermark on it, but I'm not much of a fan of this photo anyway.

So I was too lazy to go get some more memory. In my defense, I was fairly busy today! Let me explain. :) This morning, I had tennis. We played until around noon. I got home and just messed around on the computer. And at around 1:30-1:40, I suddenly felt this shaking. The island I was working on started shaking and I nearly fell off my chair trying to hold on. I first thought I was delusional because I sometimes get feelings of dizziness. But then when it kept going, I realized that it wasn't me. I then thought someone was upstairs, which really freaked me out. But then it was over, so I kind of just let it go. Well it happened to be an earthquake. Apparently there was a 5.8 earthquake today in Virginia, and the aftershock came all the way here. It basically shook almost the whole east coast, which was really strange but cool. So after Facebook exploded in statuses (seriously, I don't know why people do that), everyone calmed down again. But then at 6:30, I went to go to our tennis pasta party! It was tons of fun. :) Basically the freshmen bring the pasta, the sophomores bring the salad/bread, the juniors bring the dessert, and the seniors bring the drinks/host the party. We kind of all just hung out for a while, and then a bunch of people went to the pool, while Iris/Gigi and I squirted them with water guns. :'D LOL. I was going to post pictures since someone was taking them the whole time, but they haven't put them up yet. So I will as soon as they're uploaded.

In the mean time, I should do some of my summer work. I have so much left to do and school starts in exactly two weeks. </3 Goodbye summer 2011. :(

Freshmen

Hi guys. I know I promised photos and lots of new posts, but my computer's out of memory, so I need to get something to increase its space. I'll start posting as soon as I stop being lazy, haha. I'll aim for tomorrow, but I can't promise anything. Tennis really drains out all of my energy.

A picture of me from over a year ago. (The things that happen when you can't put new pictures on your computer. D:)

On a different note, schedules came out today! Facebook was pure madness. (Where I live, once schedules come out, everyone starts posting statuses and notes and compares! Let's just say, we all got many, many notifications today.)

I know none of you go to my school, but I want to post my schedule here for the fun of it.
We recently moved into a new school, and with that came more changes to our beloved old schedule. So this year, they've changed things up a little bit. No one really knows what's to come out of it.

HR: 274 Erickson
1. World Literature H (ABCDE) - Ippolito
2. AP Calculus AB (A) - Fogle
2. Physical Education (BE) - Clements
3. AP Calculus AB (ABCDE) - Fogle
A LUNCH
4. Physics H (ABCDE) - Sample
5. French IV H (ABCDE) - Leary
6. AP Chemistry (A) - Price
6. AP European History (BCDE) - Giammarco
7. AP Chemistry (ABCDE) - Price

None of us really know why everything's changed to letters instead of days of the week, but we'll see when September 6th comes!

Which reminds me...I should start my summer homework soon. School starts in only 2 weeks. Asdfghjkl; Goodnight!

P.S.- I have invested some time into a new theme! I shall edit it some more later. :)

Celebrate!

HI EVERYONE.
I'm so sorry for the extreme inactiveness, but I was away on vacation and right after, preseasons started. So I've been kind of busy, but I have so much to post about!

Anyway, TODAY IS MY SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY! :)


I had such an amazing day with my friends. I got tons of "happy birthdays" from the tennis team since I spent almost the whole day with them today, and I got to meet up with a few friends at Starbucks and just hang out and stuff. :) I also got the coolest cards that I'll soon upload.

OH. I also got my PERMIT. :) Now I can officially learn how to drive! Ahh, yay!

All of the pictures from my birthday will be up on another post (hopefully) tomorrow. Then, I'll start posting pictures from my vacation!

And a special THANK YOU to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. You are all so amazing. <3
Thank you for letting me have such a wonderful sweet sixteen. <3 I love you all!